The Worst Kept Secret

Every day I wonder what kind of a day it is going to be. What word challenges await and will my secret still be safe at the end of the day. You and I are the only two human beings on the planet who know that I stutter. Aside from the fact that I have posted this blog for all the world to see, I still act as if no one knows.

Delusional, maybe, but that is my story and I'm sticking to it. Besides, if I admit it to it then it must be real. Anyway, I am always thinking up new ways to achieve fluency. I mean, I don't stutter when I'm alone (3/24/08 post) so if I can somehow make myself believe that I am speaking to no one in particular (despite the fact they are standing right in front of me) it will work. I know it is absurd but you have to understand my thought process.


I have been stuttering since I can remember talking but to this day I cannot remember admitting it to anyone. They can probably figure it out for themselves and they are too embarrassed for me to bring it up. So, in basketball parlance, "no harm, no foul." Does that make me ashamed of who I am? Not really. Let me explain. If I stutter and don't acknowledge it then I must be comfortable with it. If I am comfortable with it then you will be comfortable with it, therefore it didn't happen.


In law school ( I do have a law degree but that will be another post) you are taught about syllogisms which is a form of deductive reasoning consisting of a major premise, a minor premise, and a conclusion. Take a look at this example from About.com:


Tim Russert reminded George W. Bush, 'The Boston Globe and the Associated Press have gone through some of their records and said there's no evidence that you reported to duty in Alabama during the summer and fall of 1972.' Bush replied, 'Yeah, they're just wrong. There may be no evidence, but I did report. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been honorably discharged.' That's the Bush syllogism: The evidence says one thing; the conclusion says another; therefore, the evidence is false."


Keeping with the Bush logic, if you hear me stutter but you don't say anything, then I didn't stutter because you did not say anything about it. That is the kind of logic that can make your eyebrows hurt. But that eyebrow pain is something I have learned to live with on a daily basis.

So, what is the "takeaway" ( I love that word)? If you don't tell anyone, I won't have to deny it, therefore it never happened.